Leaked Intel Brief Shows Feds Terrified of Fortnite, Discord

Teens are communicating with teens, and the result will leave you shook.

Congratulations to the crack analysts at the National Counter Terrorism Center for their groundbreaking discovery that video games have chat functions. This stunning revelation represents the kind of cutting-edge intelligence work that justifies a $20 billion budget.

NCTC Threat Bulletin

The document, likely compiled by a very old man, solemnly warns that “some violent extremist US teens probably play online games” and “could use these apps to communicate with like-minded individuals.” Teens communicating with other teens? Sounds like a threat.

What follows is a meticulously researched chart that ranks online platforms by how good their chat functions are. The NCTC has identified that Discord, an app with 150 million monthly users has text, voice, AND video chat capabilities. They’ve also discovered that Fortnite allows “players to join parties with voice chat.”

This is our unelected national security state. Bloated agencies staffing up with “analysts” who produce documents that wouldn’t pass muster in a D.A.R.E presentation. But that doesn’t stop these things from being blasted out to local cops and task forces across the country. It’s important for everyone to understand that video games exist ergo people can talk to each other in video games ergo put ‘em on a list.

This kind of analysis provides a pretext for surveillance of ordinary activities. It transforms mundane behavior like playing Fortnite into an indicator of extremism. It’s the same logic that justifies infiltrating activist groups and maintaining massive databases of people who’ve done nothing wrong. And definitely did fuck all to stop the murder of Charlie Kirk. But that doesn’t matter, because when the intelligence community is tempted with a new massive data set to gorge on, there’s no stopping the feast.